10th – 17th October 2017
I was really keen to fly over to the UK and catch up with
friends and family before heading off on Cotinga. My mum recently moved into a
nursing home so I wanted to see how she was doing and ensure that she was
settling in well. (Gloria, who is in the middle of the semester teaching, decided not to make this trip and enjoyed a quiet week at home in Sudbury)
I arrived in Manchester on Wednesday morning after a direct
flight form Boston. It was a bit of a rocky start when the car rental company
wouldn’t accept the 3rd party insurance I purchased through Expedia,
then within 10 minutes of leaving the airport I clipped the passenger side wing
mirror on a stone wall and knocked off the plastic housing. I didn’t think
there was any damage until some time later I noticed the indicator bulb hanging
down by its wire! Apparently I’ve been away too long and can now join the
millions of other visitors to the UK who complain about how narrow the roads
are!
Anyway, in many ways it was a great visit. My mum seems contented
(most of the time) at Lostock Lodge. It’s a beautiful home that’s only been
open a few months. The facilities and staff are lovely and from what I could
tell the food looked fine. If I could get access to NFL games I could see
living there myself! Unfortunately, when my mum isn’t on good form she doesn’t
remember the circumstances that lead up to her living in the home and she feels
her family has let her down because she is no longer living independently or
with my sister Alison. We will have to keep working on that, but we all agree
that it was the right move at the right time.
It was also great to catch up with many other members of my
family and some of my friends. I loved seeing everybody, but I’m not sure I was
on the best form. It was a bit of hectic schedule and I was already tired
before I missed a complete nights sleep on the plane andI know from past
experience that when I’m tired it tends to make me less positive and optimistic
about the future. On this occasion I think it was a combination of things that
made me feel somewhat less cheerful than usual. Being back in the UK always reminds
me of so many happy times with friends and family, particularly when Tasha was
young, but on this occasion I was knocked back by the sense of these times
having passed, never to be repeated. No doubt part of this was prompted by
seeing my mum getting so much older and wondering whether she thinks back on her
life with happiness or if there are more times when she is filled with sadness
about what can no longer be. Perhaps both, and I certainly hope that she spends
more time with happy memories rather than reflecting on what is lost.
For much our married life, Gloria and I have struggled with
the question of where to live. There is no easy answer and we long ago realized
that there are pros and cons to living in the USA or UK. We have been happiest
when we stop worrying about it and just get on with living our lives, wherever we
are. Recently, we seem to have fallen back into the conundrum, trying to figure
out where we should be in the future. I have really struggled to get past the
2016 election. It’s not that Donald Trump is a pig (and he is) that troubles
me, but the fact that nearly half the voting population support(ed) him. I can’t
seem to accept that so many of my fellow citizens thought that using a private
email server was more outrageous than bragging about sexually assaulting women,
to name but one of his disgusting behaviors. It makes me question whether I
really belong in the USA. At the same time it appears that the UK is also a
divided society facing great uncertainty and a difficult transition out of
Europe. Clearly the life we lived in the UK is no longer there, and the reality
is that with friends and family on both sides of the Atlantic there is no
simple solution. I suspect the only answer is to accept that this is the case
and make the most of it.
To be honest, I
debated how much of this to include in the blog, but if we never comment on how
we are feeling then it all seems a bit superficial.
Mike
Note: The following photos were all taken on my iPhone. It's a pretty good camera - except under low light conditions
My mum (Edyth - on left) having lunch with three new friends (Fred, Margaret, Barbara) at Lostock Lodge
The Roaches - an iPhone panorama taken whilst out for a walk with my friend Roger
Jessie - younger daughter of my niece Suzanne and husband Mark
Caitlin - older daughter of my niece Suzanne and husband Mark
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